A Tree Falling in the Forest

The Rocky Mountain ATV Catalogue arrived today. 883 Pages. 883 Pages! My hand got tired trying to flip through it all. The largest section is for casual clothes. Casual clothes? What? They didn't even have a spanner wrench. No spanner wrench? Come on. A whole page of belts, but no spanner wrench. The air must be thin in the Rocky Mountains.

As gagknee can attest, the day before Christmas was quite beautiful in Richmond... a sunny 65 degrees. So after doing some cleaning in the garage, I decided to take Our Brilliant Baby (OBB) and our Emotionally Disturbed Dog (EDD) for a walk. With OBB loaded in his stroller and EDD following without a leash we headed out around the neighborhood.

At the end of a cul-de-sac, we turned around and started heading home. As we did so a man emerged from his home and yelled "Legend"... "LEGEND"... "LEGEND." "Legend where the heck are you going?" It was then I realized he was yelling at EDD.

"Um, that's my dog," I said. He returned a confused look and started walking my way. "She's with me, she's my dog," I repeated. As he got closer, a dog emerged from another yard. "That's your dog over there," pointing back into the cul-de-sac.

Amazingly, the other dog was the exact same size and color as EDD. Legend and EDD exchanged sniffs as the neighbor and me exchanged pleasantries. I am glad Legend came out when he did, because I could see the guy was about to go apoplectic. OBB, oblivious to it all, was just glad to start rolling again.

After 20 years with the same basic design, Honda has made some changes to the TRX 300 EX.

Think about that... 20 years with only a few minor changes along the way. The TRX 300 EX has officially out run the production life of the Model T Ford (1908-1927).

Most notable among the changes for the 20th Anniversary machine is a new procedure to engage reverse gear. The old procedure was routinely criticized. Engaging reverse was kind of like playing a game of Twister. Step 1: use you right hand to push in a little red button on top of the clutch lever on the left side of the handlebars and while holding it down pull in the clutch lever with your left hand. Step 2: put the machine in 1st gear with your left foot. Step 3: While holding the clutch in with your left hand, reach over to the left side of the engine with your right hand and pull up on a lever located under your leg. Step 4: Release the clutch, but don't stall it because if you do you will have to disengage reverse, start the machine and repeat Step 3 again.

Don't get me wrong... I have a special place in my heart for the Honda 300 EX. It was the machine that converted me from Yamaha to Honda. So, I am very glad Honda has introduced a couple refinements to keep this venerable machine going strong.

I have heard people who can impersonate the sound of crickets. I wish I could do that, then anytime someone tells a geeky technology joke that I don’t get I could make cricket noises instead of insincere laughter.

Co-worker: And they said they were going to use the AT&T VPN concentrator for tier4 access, and I said, ‘not that VPN Gateway.’
Other co-workers: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Me: **crickets**

Today, someone sitting next to me in a meeting wrote an elaborate joke on paper and showed it to me. I couldn't tell you what it said to save my life.

There is an assistant vice president at my place of work that sounds just like my high school speech teacher. Yes, she intimidates me.

According to a friend that works at NASA, the crew on board the Space Shuttle was awaken by "Lowrider" this morning. That seems appropiate.

All my friends know a lowrider (Can anyone name a current astronaut?)
The lowrider gets a little higher (How about a few miles higher?)

Lowrider drives a little slower (Slower? 17,500 mph is slower?)
Lowrider is a real goer (I am not sure what a goer is, but it probably applies.)

Lowrider knows every street, yeah (Can you see streets from space?)
Lowrider isn't one to leak (I hope not, but I suspect some waste may be jettisoned.)

Lowrider don't use no gas, now (No, but they do use boat load of liquid hydrogen and oxygen.)
Lowrider don't drive too fast (Again... 17,500 mph is 25 times the speed of sound.)

Take a little trip
Take a little trip
Take a little trip to see

Take a little trip
Take a little trip
Take a little trip with me

I really wanted to get Our Brilliant Baby (OBB) a wagon with removable sides and pneumatic tires for Christmas. I searched and searched to find the right one at a reasonable price. My Lovely Wife (MLW) was patient, but did not entirely understand why I was spending so many hours on this quest.

Finally I ordered this on-line:














But, I was disappointed when this arrived instead:













Who would want you non-removable sides wagon?

Tooltopia.com… you have ruined Christmas.

The season of Christmas lights and glowing lawn ornaments is upon us. MLW and I enjoy driving around in search of the tackiest.

We didn't do much at our house... this year. Next year I am going to try to do better. I would like to do something a little more creative than buying all the latest lighted moving reindeer, but we'll see.

There will not, WILL NOT be anything inflatable.

I wonder if when the three wise men journeyed to Bethlehem that they ever imagined that 2000 or so years later they would adorn lawns in light up form.

Movin’ into high gear: Trail system progress is welcome news
Bluefield Daily Telegraph

Excerpts:

The movie “Field of Dreams” taught us “if you build it, they will come.” If that’s the case, enhanced tourism opportunities are on the horizon in McDowell and Mercer counties with continued development of the Hatfield-McCoy Trail. Construction is now underway on a 70-mile segment of the trail in McDowell County, which, when complete, hopefully will expedite development on the Mercer County portion of the recreational trail in the not-too-distant future

Officials are tentatively planning to open the McDowell County portion of the Hatfield-McCoy Trail in February or March.

Along with economic development opportunities for McDowell and Mercer counties, the trail system also brings the potential for a safer environment for those riding all-terrain vehicles. Experts have noted there are fewer ATV fatalities on the trail system than in other areas, perhaps due to enhanced safety requirements on the trail.

This week I traveled to Philadelphia for a work related trip. It was the first time I had flown anywhere in more than a year. The screening process that used to be a minor inconvenience has become an outright hassle.

Leaving Richmond was bad enough: I had to take off my shoes, my coat, my jacket and place it all on the belt. Next I had to take my laptop out of its case and place both on the belt. Then my carry on bag had to go on the belt with my toiletry items, which I had put in a clear Ziploc bag, removed and placed on the belt separately. Finally, my cell phone, watch and keys… on the belt. After I cleared the mag, I had to put everything back together. I was a little annoyed, but not too bad, the TSA staff was gracious and efficient.

But, leaving Philadelphia was a bit more ridiculous. After completing all the aforementioned steps, I was told my Ziploc bag was too big. “Too big?!?” I asked. “Too big, it shouldn’t be more than one quart,” I was told. Why it matters what size my Ziploc bag is is beyond my cognitive ability to comprehend. The “helpful,” albeit somewhat terse, TSA agent disappeared for a moment and returned with a new quart sized Ziploc bag for my use. But my toothpaste was deemed to be too large. It would not be making the return trip to Richmond. Too bad, it was a nearly new tube. A fitting end to trip to a city that has so few redeeming qualities.